What I Learned From Failing To Lose Weight All My Life

When I was in 6th grade, all my friends from my village called me “Fatso.”

These were my best friends, and I accepted it to fit it. I was bigger than all of them, but I didn’t like fighting. I had two friends, Mihai and Laur. We used to play video games, catch frogs at Mihai’s lake and race them to see who would win.

One time, they climbed a cherry tree, and I couldn’t do it, so I stayed at the bottom, waiting for them to throw some cherries my way. They teased me from way up because I couldn’t climb.

It was funny for them, but not for me. I still remember that.

Losing fat became a lifelong goal back from 6th grade

But when I saw I failed continuously, I found ways to compensate.

I was in the drama class, doing comedy, making everyone laugh. I always had friends and even had some girlfriends, but it never lasted. I was convinced personality matters more than how you look.

It does, but what you can control about how you look says a lot about your personality.

In college, I found out fast that parties were not my zone. People were going there to hook up with good-looking people, and being funny would not cut it back then.

In the third year of college, I finally decided to get serious about losing weight.

I started BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu), going to the gym, being mindful of what I eat.

Guess what? It worked! I made new friends at the gym, I started being more confident, and my performance in class improved a lot. Things were going great for a while.

I saw what lies on the other side of losing weight. It was awesome!

But that didn’t last too long.

I am a stress eater. Whenever something gets in the way, I open the fridge unconsciously. Food is the monkey on my back. Because of this, whenever I interrupt a great streak of good habits, I fall back on the old ones and gain a minimum of 5kgs.

But I never quit the lifelong goal of reaching my ideal body — but I failed many times to get it.

I am often discouraged, thinking I am just not destined to reach that version of myself, but then I remember, this is my mind avoiding change because things now are comfortable enough.

You lose only when you give up trying.

I am 27 years now, and I’ve been fat all my life. Currently, I’m 12 kgs (26 pounds) overweight. This will change, and I know it, no matter how many times I will fail.

Don’t let your past dictate your future!

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